The box said, "Requires Windows 2000 or better." So I installed Linux.






(Click my chair for the movie!)

Hmm. This is probably an excellent metaphor for my life. Nothing I like better than chillin' and letting it just happen! I once read a book called "The Dice Man" about a guy who made all his life choices based on the throw of a die. I have a gut feeling that might not be my best approach to life seeing as a lot of strange folk have suggested I take a long walk off a short pier and there'd be a 50/50 chance of ... well, you know!

Originally I'd intended this page to be a kind of "About Us" link, but I seem to have said most of that kind of stuff on the Home page. So, since it's here and I'd hate to waste such a brilliant page title, I've decided to make it an Online Journal where I can just mumble away to myself and hopefully not give offence to too many folk. I had hoped for it to be a Blog Page, (BLOG being web-speak for "Web Log" - a kind of forum where anyone can chuck in their penny's-worth of comments). However, I totally screwed up the set-up routine and failed miserably, so all I got was this stupid T-shirt!

Oh yeah! If you're interested in having a peek at What Bloggers Do you might like to sneak over the airways to sunny Texas where a fun blogger who adores Dubya Bush gives us his schtick on life. He calls himself the The Fat Guy and offers many handy links to other dedicated bloggers! Go To "TFG" Now.

And before I shove off and leave you to it, I would just like to mention that a lot of the fun stuff scattered about this dweebsite was unwittingly submitted by family members and friends who are always sending me loads of funny (and funky - thanks, Lyds!) material via email. I sure hope the intelligence gatherers who are always beavering away on the airways missed some of these contributions - if not I'll see you at Guantanamo Bay!

Okay, okay, I know I said I was shoving off, but before I go here's a bit of blog I picked up via TFG (edited a bit to fit :-) -----



Take a Break And Think About Mouth-Watering Dead Animals

Today's topic: Hamburgers.

--- has a list of favorite hamburger joints, a topic of great interest given that 2004 is the anniversary of the hamburger in its modern incarnation. (Incarnation meaning, literally, "made into meat," so I'm linguistically aligned here.) He includes on his list In-and-Out Burger, a southern California favorite but not, in reality, even the best fast-food burger in L.A. County. That honor goes, instead, to Fatburger, a local chain that gets extra points for just coming out and admitting it. Calling a hamburger "Fatburger" is like naming a brand of cigarettes "Cancer Cluster." While it is, indeed, lots of fun to take the In-and-Out Burger bumper stickers and clip off the "B" and the "r" to create an entirely diiferent bumper sticker, it lacks the self-destructive decadence of going into one of the seemingly millions of Fatburger storefronts in L.A. and demanding a Double Fat with Cheese.

Can't you just hear your arteries hardening?

Next, despite the justifiable fame of the Hackneyburger, Hackney's real eat-this-and-die, freak-show-grease-fest champion is onion rings. The manufacturing technique works like this: Lightly batter a whole mess of sliced onions and then cram them down into a deep fryer basket. Literally, stuff them down into the basket until it can't hold any more. Then deep fry the rings until they're mahogony brown, just this side of burned. Invert the basket and dump the rectangular mass of onion rings onto a plate. Use a forklift to serve.

OK, I'm kidding about the forklift, but we're talking about five pounds of rings here. A full order is the size and shape of a shoebox and will feed a family of four for a week. If you stockpile the leftovers you can use them to build that new patio you've always dreamed of.



I'm outa here!

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"Into every life a little rain must fall." - Sure, but why always pick on Cardiff?



A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.



Never grab a falling knife!




"Officials at

the electronic surveillance arm of the British intelligence service, were asked by the Americans to provide valuable information from 'product lines', intelligence jargon for phone taps and e-mail interception." The Observer, Sunday March 9, 2003